If you've read "my story" from my web site (which is down right now and I'll need to move it someplace stable very soon), the judge saddled me with a debt for no apparent reason other than I fought my case cheaper by being more self-sufficient. You could read into it that he felt I was under-employed, but that would suggest he's out of touch with [today's] reality or fundamentally incapable of an unbiased decision, but that wouldn't be very good for a judge, so I'll suggest it was due to legal fees.
Anyway, the point of this is, I'm done. No, not done paying support, but done paying off this arrears. It's not Christmas. No, I didn't wait this year, I thought this was a nice reward for 3+ weeks of time with my kids this summer. I wonder what the next few weeks will bring?
It's a good feeling, being able to look at your savings and know that it's all yours, not on hold or accumulating for someone else's benefit.
2 comments:
congradulations cameron,
i know the relief you must feel. it is a major immediate burden you are free of. i know that feeling. with this being said though, it is my opinion and belief that its completely wrong to have this obligation forced on you. you are a parent just like the mother is, the only difference is that you are "obligated" by, dictated too and directed by rules that should have no interferance in your right as a citizen, individual and
parent.
reflecting on my case, the arrears that accumulated and increased month after month is not because i didn't want to pay, but because i simply could not afford to pay that much. the system allows the custodial parent to go on with their life after the order is filed with the court. the non custodial parent must then take with them the fear, worry and uncertainty that if they do not or cannot come up with the money in any given month that arrears will incurr and be vigorously enforced.
in my case the judge told me and i quote "you must pay this money whether you have it or not". since that day i was tormented even already more than i was from the first court date some 6 yrs prior.
my god i sure was thankful i managed to pay off my arrears before the second time i was forced back to court for increased support. i could just imagine if i wasn't able to pay the arrears off. the judge would have "ate me alive" and the ex would have been even more in her glory, clapping her hands and bouncing up and down in her seat in the court room.
again i will say that being a responsible paying non custodial parent has no impact, reflection on anyone really. what does it get you that you wouldn't already have if the court order wasn't filed in the first place?
the law basing everything on the "best interests of the child" is a complete crock.......
its all about the money, always was and always will be. everyone reaps the benefits except the non custodial paying parent.
cameron, i applaud you for your persistance, dedication and commitment to this cause and i will stand with you in your persuit for fair child support and reform. i am thankful that i have your blog to reflect and reply to. for so many years i have met and faced so much ignorance, closed doors and beligerance and disregard. i know how long i have tried to speak out and find answers, request and inquire about fairness in the child support system. i am still here in this nightmare and wonder when and if it will ever end.
Thank you. That's all I can say, though we can co-miserate at our cases, and yes, there are others out there enduring this again and again.
The net effect that I have experienced from the "enforcement" is a disgust for the system and those involved with it, be it lawyers, judges, or those people who disregard their actions as a responsibility (the FRO) in my case.
I can only pray that my faith will not fail me in keeping my patience and determination in being a good father. My daughters remain my first priority.
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