Single Parenting in the Military

Just wanted to draw attention to this issue. Please check out this site for a discussion.

globeandmail.com: Parents First...

globeandmail.com: A white man struggles to reclaim his children: "He always thought of himself as a doting father, a man who read bedtime stories to his two children every night before tucking them under the covers, who would delight in wrapping his arms around them in a bear hug. If not the picture-perfect father, he figured he was close enough."

An interesting read.

A Surprise from the FRO.

Apparently my note to the Minister made it through and they figured out who I was (specifically) and have assigned me a new case-worker. She even gave me her direct line (which I am not sharing, sorry).

We talked about my recommendations and we'll see if they get anywhere but there's a ray of hope.

I'll keep you posted.

A note to the Minister...

It's that time of year again. I'm awaiting the documentation from my ex-wife to file with the courts and FRO to re-calculate the child support amount. I have not notified the FRO yet, though my ex-wife has had the documentation for a few weeks. This note is a plea for change.

The following was directed at the Minister of Community and Social Services, Madeleine Meilleur, through the Ministry's web site.

With all of this effort on making NCPs pay support, something I am doing and have done well-beyond the guidelines and what is reasonable, why has the Ministry not made it easier to file information with Courts, retrieve account status information from the FRO, and provided a better on-line experience for those of use who are paying support?

Every year I am at the mercy of the FRO and the whims of my ex-wife to file documentation because a judge of questionable intelligence and bias, deemed it necessary to create a court order that is beyond logic. I have and will comply with it and I still (in spite of my experiences) support the need for Child Support. I am concerned at the manner in which the FRO does what it wants, regardless of the court order in place and find the access to a response when using efficient means to communicate troublesome. I find it offensive that I cannot get a Statement of Account without a cost. I refuse to pay those fee because it's simply wrong, though it has been proven necessary in the past because the FRO was incapable of simple accounting. Even last year their non-compliance with my court order caused confusion.

The FRO's reputation is one of problematic interference and negligent inaction, or action when they have been told not to act. They are known for being non-responsive as my 5 or so faxes for an update and offering new information over several months of last year, where I asked of confirmation of receipt were unanswered, though confirmed when I caught up with an Agent in December.

As I need to file documents annually with the courts. I would appreciate a manner that would allow me to complete this task without taking a day off work. Whether it's on-line, by fax, by mail, or a combination of both I would truly appreciate the process being streamlined so that I'm not left with a further financial impact beyond what I already (over)pay.

Yes, I threw a dig at my judge. I do pay well-beyond guidelines, and I have been ordered to by a system that pities the "Custodial Parent" I am not, in fact, non-custodial, we have joint custody, but she is the primary residence for my daughters so she gets paid. While I believe that she should get the guideline amount and my share of any reasonable expenses, The judge (if you read the web-site and my story) was so kind as to saddle me with her legal expenses, though going to court was entirely her choice as a manner of a failure to negotiate outside of the courts.

For years I have told myself it was not her, but the system that caused this pain. I will continue to tell myself that because it helps keep things cool between us. I have no choice but to lie to myself in this manner, the alternative is resentment as this feels very much like being swindled.

Deadbeat Dads on Pizza Boxes

Okay, this is getting odd.

Missing kids on milk cartons, Deadbeat Dads on pizza boxes?

Are you on the list?

Well it's here, the FRO's hot list of "Deadbeat Dads" and whether you're on it or not, the threat is just as pointed.

Have a look, if you have info, report it. Yes, I said report it. You you're paying and in good standing you have nothing to fear, but these folks are the reason for all of those threats you face.

www.goodparentspay.com

Landmark ruling on child support

CanWest News Service was very quick to report that the courts, our "system", have the right to imprison a "Deadbeat Dad" for non-compliance with a court order.



The courts found that Kenneth Dickie has shown "complete disregard" for the Canadian justice system and that his attitude and resulting actions (or inaction) has caused "disasterous consequences" for his ex-wife and three children. Rochelle Cantor, the lawyer for Mr. Dickie argued that this amounted to debtor's prison as he was unable to pay, rather than unwilling to pay.



I invite you to read the article in full to understand more of Mr. Dickie's court ordered support of his ex-wife and children and current lifestyle he fled to when ordered to pay support that he considered beyond his means.



While the father's disregard for the courts is blatent and problematic, there are also concerns for this reader that the mother and her grown children are holding him responsible for thier current financial problems. I would wonder if there was some degree of living beyond their means that might contribute to this? As support ends (normally) at age 18, they're had several years to become productive members of society.



That said, his actions are truely deplorable and while we will never knwo the fine details those of us who fear the court system have this Dickie to thank for adding to the arsenal that the FRO and other agencies can use against those who are truly broke Those who cannot pay, as opposed to will not pay, support due to circumstances have a new and very serious concern to evaluate.



It seems that the courts have chosen to err on the side of protecting women from threats with no concern for the woman's own responsibility for living in a manner appropriate to her available resources.