tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.comments2012-04-03T11:17:37.370-04:00For Fair Child SupportUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger72125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-38634476008463824602012-04-03T11:17:37.370-04:002012-04-03T11:17:37.370-04:00Firstly, as for the post of March 31st, 2012. What...Firstly, as for the post of March 31st, 2012. What I would do... Your ex is not being responsible, but the FRO are useless at determining and prosecuting the people who are the problem, and extremely proficient at prosecuting the people that are not. I know of many people in this situation and, sadly, they simply give up on ever receiving money from the non-custodial parent. Why? Because sometimes the fight is worse than the loss. It's not fair and the government, and society, should not allow it.<br /><br />As for the termination of support payments without a court order or agreement (comment of April 3rd, 2012): This would be okay in B.C. but you should know, and must understand that a court order to the FRO is nothing more than a directive. If your ex can't be civil enough to communicate with you about your child, use the court. I'm sorry you've become the victim, but the reality ALL OF US must accept is that you're on the hook for life if the mother so chooses you to be. You have no choice but top use the courts if you can't communicate effectively with the other parent.<br /><br />I'm disgusted with the system and thankful that I have some manner of communication with my ex-wife. No matter how painful, this is the better way in these matters.Cameron Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09235306215988767599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-37112354116601946002012-04-03T11:05:43.524-04:002012-04-03T11:05:43.524-04:00Does anyone know if FRO has to supply some sort of...Does anyone know if FRO has to supply some sort of 'proof' that the child is ACTUALLY attending post secondary? She turned 18 in August 2011, I stopped paying support in September 2011, after many many unsuccessful attempts to see/contact her over the years, I had no idea what she was doing. To get a letter from FRO in December saying we now had an arrears for support... No proof, no explanation, nothing, just a letter saying they were going to take my license and garnish my wages. <br />So, my financial statement is filled out and sent in, to be noted, I am now remarried with 3 children under the age of 12, my wife stays home as our youngest son (adopted) was born addicted to crack cocaine and is special needs, so money is tight, and our proposal was only an extra $52 a month to 'catch up' on the arrears, FRO calls me today saying I'm a deadbeat dad! Yeah, no I'm not, child support had ALWAYS been paid up until she was 18! Now all of a sudden and without any sort of proof, we are supposed to just pull $3000 out of our a$$ to pay the arrears when we live almost paycheck to paycheck as it is ????? Just a little confused and would appreciate ANY ideas on what I should do from this point! Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-59939766275462281212012-03-31T14:20:51.876-04:002012-03-31T14:20:51.876-04:00I have read through all these comments...what woul...I have read through all these comments...what would you do if you have a court order and your ex is working but under the table, and once we separated he went on welfare...he is strong and healthy and now as per FRO they cannot enforce my court order, and now i cannot afford a lawyer.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-53751462372945658812012-02-18T00:40:43.185-05:002012-02-18T00:40:43.185-05:00Now I did find it humorous that my contact at the ...Now I did find it humorous that my contact at the office was told this process was standard procedure and was not a new action, but rather an old one for the last dance around the courtroom, but I'm certain that's either a smoke-screen or an individual's uninformed observation.my faxhttp://faxfreeonline.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-53843709322748671702010-11-30T10:23:43.637-05:002010-11-30T10:23:43.637-05:00I want to first say that you're dealing with t...I want to first say that you're dealing with this in a very healthy way, and yes the Lord does have us covered and we don't need to worry about the day-to-day "carp" that makes life difficult, like money.<br /><br />That "freedom day" will require some planning and may/will depend upon your son's choice to attend university. I'm encouraging my daughter to get a job because I don't expect there to be a great deal of money around for post-secondary education. I'm not a lawyer, and while I've heard that the "freedom day" process is much easier to establish in B.C., in Ontario I believe you need to attend court to establish that your son is no longer living at home and that he is not attending University, or that he will be attending university, but not living at home and you'll be assisting with those costs. $831 monthly could go a long way towards an education. There are forms that cover the basics, and I'd advise the use of a lawyer, or at least a visit with the lawyers at the courthouse that are there as part of legal aid. While sometimes they seem disinterested, I know there are lawyers that are available to offer good advice though this service.<br /><br />If your son is intent on attending university and you have any influence, offer to assist his living on campus or attending a school that would nudge him out of your wife's house.Cameron Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09235306215988767599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-64370226965751624982010-11-18T22:46:37.047-05:002010-11-18T22:46:37.047-05:00Anon says,
I'm a paying dad that pays 831 per...Anon says,<br /><br />I'm a paying dad that pays 831 per month. I live in a basement apt. She lives in a 600k modern home with her new husband. My son is 16 and I look forward to the day this monthly payment ends (part of me sadly hopes he doesn't want to attend university). When officially will this end??? What course of action must I prepare for for that day? So many thoughts about this messed up and unfair system. My greatest revenge? Stay cool, work hard, claim everything on income tax (don't leave any skeletons in your closet for later). Pray... the good Lord really is in control of it all... think about freedom day often... call my son and try to see him as much as possible even though he really isn't interested (don't worry about that... think about how his mind will grow and mature and one day the light goes on and he realizes the deep love you have for him). Thanks for letting me ramble... best revenge is stay cool and earn as much as you can... don't get into too much debt like I did and soon the unfair monthly payment won't be as big a bite as it now is... remember God is in control of ALL the money in this wretched world anyway... thanks for your blogAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-17437998044473071242010-10-07T09:09:19.319-04:002010-10-07T09:09:19.319-04:00The issue there is that you trust a judge's pe...The issue there is that you trust a judge's perception and that (s)he can be unbiased when looking over a case. <br /><br />In my situation it became obvious that my judge felt I was "underemployed" so he imputed income. What he missed is that, at the time, there were no/few tech-jobs and while I was underemployed, it was not by choice. I was working very hard and was transparent with my ex-wife as to my finances. <br /><br />While I see your intent, I would have great concern offering a judge this level of control, especially when you're effectively making this a kids for cash situation. There are a number of fathers that would simply walk away, justified in that sort of decision. It's a slippery slope and if this did happen I think we'd have more issues, more kids without Dads. <br /><br />The FRO, as an organisation, is a disaster. They "only follow court orders" when they want to. They are careless and a point of frustration for lawyers, custodial, and non-custodial parents. The system, the judges involved, while they may be good people, do not always judge in fairness, presuming the worst of fathers because of true Deadbeat Dads.Cameron Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09235306215988767599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-87306818449009029792010-10-07T08:52:43.602-04:002010-10-07T08:52:43.602-04:00Hi Cameron,
Re: your above response to my post, y...Hi Cameron,<br /><br />Re: your above response to my post, yes, you're absolutely right. But we're talking about a chronic "deadbeat" here, not a good supporting dad who has just lost a job and needs to have the support reduced.<br /><br />I work as a clerk in a Family Law office and the amount of lee-way a judge has to interpret situations is, in my opinion, enough to allow a mom where there has been chronic non-payment of support, to file a Motion to have the "deadbeat's" access revoked. Cause of action would need to be established, etc., on the Applicant's part. I'm certainly not suggesting a blanket law that says if you're behind a month, no access that month. Good grief, no.<br /><br />But for these payors, men or women, who expect to continue not paying their support for months at a time, several times a year, there should be more enforcement action available to the custodial parent.<br /><br />~A frustrated Mom who supports Dads.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-74027596310981400692010-10-06T23:02:01.519-04:002010-10-06T23:02:01.519-04:00RE: October 6th Comment...
...You're absolut...RE: October 6th Comment... <br /><br />...You're absolutely right, these are the true Deadbeats, they are the reason that the good (but broke) fathers who feel wrongly persecuted are being persecuted. The FRO is powerless (or something) in this fight and many women simply give up because it's so much of a battle. This is wrong, but restricting access is a tough call. I hear what you say and understand, but once a law is made to restrict access unless payments are made you're hurting the relationship between the father and children. As well, if that was made law, then many good fathers who simply can't pay would be losing access to their children. Again, that would hurt the children and we can't, fairly, pursue that.Cameron Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09235306215988767599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-51910120138536418332010-10-06T21:16:30.502-04:002010-10-06T21:16:30.502-04:00...and then there are the dads out there like my e......and then there are the dads out there like my ex: rich as hell, wouldn't pay court ordered support, being garnished, went to work for a friend who owns his own business and now the business won't pay. And what has the FRO done? NOT ONE THING.<br /><br />I have waited, and waited, and been nice, been patient. I know exactly what kind of SOB my ex is so I saved whatever I could to make sure I had a cushion so that when he found a way around paying my kids and I would be ok. And we were, for three months.<br /><br />Now it's been five months and the FRO still can't make this employer pay. But my ex still has the money to drag my butt to court with his lawyer in tow.<br /><br />Maybe the FRO should try aligning support payments with access visits. No pay, no access. Betcha my ex would pay then. Or maybe he'd just go away and leave my kids and me alone. Which would almost be better, then my kids wouldn't cry that they don't want to see him all the time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-3987835344084950302010-08-17T17:12:25.448-04:002010-08-17T17:12:25.448-04:00I am bringing to your attention that no one has co...I am bringing to your attention that no one has commented on yet. My husband has without exception payed his child support obligations and thankfully has had no issues with FRO up until now. He is still paying child support for a child who is 27 years old with a 3 year old of her own. She has not been in school since she was 16 years old and has been on her own collecting welfare since the age of 18. We tried hiring a lawyer to end child support when his Daughter was 17 in hopes it would force her mother to make sure the daughter got back into school. Not only did the Daughter not get back in school it was suggested by OUR lawyer that we should pay MORE in spousal support than we were paying in combined child and spousal. My husband recently applied to the FRO to have child support stopped since his daughter is by no definition a CHILD of the marriage. They sent a letter to his ex. asking for verification and surprise of surprise she disagreed so nothing can be done. Unless we return to court and roll the dice. In my opinion The FRO are aiding and abetting a felon who is taking money fraudulantly. Anyone have any suggestions for us.No names pleasehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14835055572461546182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-86537986524407060412009-12-06T11:28:19.042-05:002009-12-06T11:28:19.042-05:00The women are better hung today then the men...The...The women are better hung today then the men...There was one comment about termination of support. By the time the support termination forms were put into place it took just over 6 months for it to stop. My son came to live with me and I filed right away. Those 6 months worth of payments that I had made to the FRO were not re embursed...the money went to her and it was up to me to take her to small claims court to get the money back. So ya...you might as well just bend overAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-59804507039347584392009-10-22T06:28:37.382-04:002009-10-22T06:28:37.382-04:00PAID!
Today, as stated in my earlier FAX, I have ...PAID!<br /><br />Today, as stated in my earlier FAX, I have PAID the FRO (which will, in-turn, pay my ex-wife) as promised because the funds became available TODAY.Cameron Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09235306215988767599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-17506943541724603202009-03-11T21:16:00.000-04:002009-03-11T21:16:00.000-04:00I am the wife of a man that has to pay child suppo...I am the wife of a man that has to pay child support for a child that he did not father but yet he felt he should do the right thing. He's been denied visitation for 9 years and the child has been told that that is not her real father. I think fro needs to open a site to embarase mothers that spend their support for their children on Crack!! Not all fathers are dead beat dads, Men need a assistance program to help them when they tried to do the right thing and then just get screwed over and over gain!!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-40897373404219361452009-03-10T17:18:00.000-04:002009-03-10T17:18:00.000-04:00I hear you. We're all hoping someone starts listen...I hear you. We're all hoping someone starts listening. Don't give up, my kids went through the same thing and they didn't think Dad was any less a Dad. They understood and they are as close as ever with me. <BR/><BR/>Hang in there. You are NOT alone.Cameron Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09235306215988767599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-68528556403888119472009-03-10T14:30:00.000-04:002009-03-10T14:30:00.000-04:00I take small comfort in knowing that I'm not alone...I take small comfort in knowing that I'm not alone. I have three children with my ex who I left after I found she was cheating on me for the third time. I made the decision to leave as I could not handle that heart break anymore. It was hard because of my children, I was and still am very much part of their lives. I have no issues getting access. She (the ex) enjoys not having the children often. That being said, my children often complain they are bored with me and don't understand why I can't take them to fun places other than our local free park. They are young they don't understand why I can't buy them gifts. I live in a small 2 bedroom apartment that costs 660 plus. They share one room when they are here. I am often borrowing money from family and not paying them back just to get by. They understand fortunately, but it is not their responsibility to feed my children or put gas in my tank so I can get them. Their mother, has a brand new van with built in tv and other luxury features, a new large wide screen tv. Heaps of great clothes, all the luxury gismos. I can't even afford basic cable or a telephone. I haven't had new clothes for 2 years. People think I make good money because of where I work, but after I pay support I have not even enough to pay my own way. I sacrifice everything so that I can feed the kids when they are with me. I borrow dvds from relatives to entertain them. How long would it take for your kids to get bored of that routine? The ex's boyfriend makes good money as does she. They live in a large house with a large back yard. The kids say, I wish you weren't poor dad. I know you would get me an xbox game if you weren't poor dad. This eats me up inside. I have thought about doing away with myself at one point. I wont because I love my kids too much to hurt them that way. Woman will say your a good father to me. Woman will say that I am doing the right thing. Am I? Is it right for my kids to see me this way? Is it right that without me telling them the difference, they feel sorry for me. Its more than just about money for crying out loud. Its about the complexities in a fathers relationship with their children. From their point of view, I am dad and they love me, but they would rather not spend the time they do with me. They see dad as the lonely poor guy. Lets talk about the social aspect. I can't afford to date. I can't afford to mingle with my friends. I have been reduced to something quite pathetic. I think equalizing household incomes is the only fair solution. I have my children often. I feed them 6 suppers out of 14. Please if anyone who can make a differance reads this.. Please make the changes in law that will protect a good and caring father from being dealt this. I would never see my children go without, and when they are with their mother who has excess, there is no worries. Why would I want to see them do without when they are with me. Why would the government want children to go without no matter what parent they are with? Why is it ok to impoverish children sometimes when they need not be at all?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-48464774152247068502008-11-16T23:49:00.000-05:002008-11-16T23:49:00.000-05:00I found this blog by accident .I'm no lawyer , but...I found this blog by accident .I'm no lawyer , but I studied Family law for over six month to gain joined custody of my child which took 9 month , which I did successfully .<BR/><BR/>I Feel sorry for all of you here and mostly the father . I know exactly how fathers are treated in Canada , it is very sad .<BR/><BR/>My advice to all fathers : <BR/><BR/>1-You can Make life like Hell for your ex in a very calm and legal manner . There are 53 Organiztoin that care about children interest In Ontario alone . I was on my Six when my ex started to change her attitude and beged for peace .<BR/> <BR/>Drinking , Gambeling , Neglagace,Drugs ,,etc<BR/>Accuse of anything you might see it fit , if she is being unfair to you . <BR/>The problem with most men in this country is that they have accepted the defeat , they Play the roll of victim ( which no one respect ) in stead of standing up for themselves and their right as Human being . <BR/><BR/>2-Women in general are the same , no matter how educated they become . They are either 5 below Zero or 5 above Zero(if you are lucky ) and it never goes beyond that ,So treat them accordingly .<BR/><BR/>3- If some make your life like Hell , do not cry about it , Be a man and make their life Hell too . That is the only way for anything to go forward ,,, Being Passive and accepting abuse only make things worst . <BR/><BR/>4-Never leave any Cash in your accounts , because when the time comes , it will be heading to your ex's Pocket .<BR/><BR/>5-FRO is an organization , that have a set of rules that they implement . THEY ARE NOBODY . <BR/>They are the middle man , they simply implement the orders and the consequeces of no obying them ,<BR/>there is really no reason to argue with them or try to seek their understanding or respect . They do not know you and they really do not want to know you . <BR/><BR/>You have to go backward to solve your problem , Your real problem . <BR/><BR/>My advice to all fathers , Start by reading Family law act 10 times .<BR/><BR/>http://www.canlii.org/on/laws/sta/f-3/20040802/whole.html<BR/><BR/>secondly , Use<BR/> <BR/>www.canlii.com <BR/><BR/>as a referace .<BR/><BR/>Good luck to all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-20042538307677221672008-11-14T11:54:00.000-05:002008-11-14T11:54:00.000-05:00Okay...I absolutely understand that this seems poi...Okay...<BR/><BR/>I absolutely understand that this seems pointless and empty, but I'm making an effort to get this blog noticed and your voice(s) heard.Cameron Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09235306215988767599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-5302764619728662582008-11-14T11:18:00.000-05:002008-11-14T11:18:00.000-05:00I too am going through hell. When I seperated I b...I too am going through hell. When I seperated I basically gave her everything so that my kids wouldnt have to suffer. I have 2 kids. 5 and 3. <BR/><BR/>I pay $945 based on my old salary and now I am making a bit more she wants more. when you take into consideration all the monies she recieves for child tax benefits and other government support she is pulling in about $$63K after tax<BR/><BR/>Once I pay out the child support and daycare I am making roghly $31K after taxes.<BR/><BR/>WHERE IS THIS FAIR. she is pulling in $30K more then me a year.<BR/><BR/>I am 32 years old and have to live with my parents because I just cant afford to get a place to live. I would be living credit card to credit card.<BR/><BR/>Even asking her to lower the payments just gets me a lame answer of "Oh I rely on that money"<BR/>Yeah to go to Mexico, Vegas, Buy a 50" Plasma<BR/><BR/>She has just recently purchaced a new house jointly with her new Boyfriend. Now they have his income to play with.<BR/><BR/>I hear those other fathers when they say they cant aford stuff and feel bad when there kids come to a sub standard of living. I cant afford to do fun things with the kids. I cant get them things they want. This tears me up inside.<BR/><BR/>I feel I am a responsible father who is paying his support but c'mon ppl these guidelines are unfair.<BR/><BR/>Why is the wifes income not calculated into what is paid.<BR/><BR/>What pisses me off is she can get a raise/new job and make $100K and I still have to pay the same amount. WHERE IS THE FAIRNESS HERE.<BR/><BR/>Im not asking to NOT pay support. but seriously help us out too and let us try and lead a normal life too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-84849582660914537602008-10-22T22:17:00.000-04:002008-10-22T22:17:00.000-04:00sure....sure....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-58792837664239960862008-10-09T23:40:00.000-04:002008-10-09T23:40:00.000-04:00Yes... I will. Research and time... but maybe this...Yes... I will. Research and time... but maybe this weekend. Now I have commented on abandonment, and that as much as the pressures are, it's just not cool to walk away, but I'll see how to put the ex-pat spin on this.Cameron Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09235306215988767599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-30853248278396921802008-10-09T21:55:00.000-04:002008-10-09T21:55:00.000-04:00Leaving Canada....You said you will have a new Blo...Leaving Canada....You said you will have a new Blogg for that...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-76149286316170851222008-10-03T17:14:00.000-04:002008-10-03T17:14:00.000-04:00I am in the same boat, it's getting tough. My ex-w...I am in the same boat, it's getting tough. My ex-wife does not want to hear how I live my life she just like my Money but she has plenty of it...I am going under...slowly...It's hard when you can't see your children because you can't afford a weekend with them but you pay over $1300.00 on child support through the FRO. Can you send this to the MPP in Oakville, and tell him I move into his basement next week with my wife and baby, because my house it up for sale..My ex-wife does not need my money she only likes my blood...Ps. I believe this whole post/blog will go nowhere...at lest not the next 10 years those MPP's have to worry about their own paycheckAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-91859579807362736112008-09-30T12:12:00.000-04:002008-09-30T12:12:00.000-04:00While the judges are currently under a Liberal gov...While the judges are currently under a Liberal government, the problem is not related to who put these judges in office. I'm fairly certain my judge was not brought in under the Liberals. This is not, unfortunately, a Federal election issue, it is handled at the Provincial level. Your MPP is the key. Send him/her a link to this site and ask them for help. <BR/> They will likely forward to the Minister of he Attorney General but we need ALL of our MPPs to hear about this.Cameron Stevenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09235306215988767599noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8543513670378898601.post-29067940449574279092008-09-30T11:06:00.000-04:002008-09-30T11:06:00.000-04:00I hope all of you are happy with the LIBERAL PARTY...I hope all of you are happy with the LIBERAL PARTY appointed judges we have, they are the ones making these stupid decisions. Keep voting LIBERAL Toronto and that's what you get, you fools,<BR/>OPEN your eyes!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com