First priority, finding a job.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Monday, February 09, 2009
Out of a Job, but will a Judge understand?
Sure, the news is chock full of economic woes, but will Ontario's Family and Superior Court judges understand that you're out of a job or even when you regain employment at half the rate? Imputed Income is a curse on those who are in the sights of the FRO and the "System" as a whole, your expected to maintain the child support payments even though you're income has dropped to the Employment Insurance maximum or your new gig's salary (or worse, hourly) is about 50% of what you're used to.
The expenses of moving to a new 1 bedroom apartment are on top of the fact that you've got a standing support payment that's more than you took home last month. You want to pay, you've been a good customer of the FRO until your job just up and vanished in late 2008, or maybe your plant has laid you off and your $26/hour is not $13/hour at the local BK. Your expenses haven't dropped and for some reason everyone wants what they've always been paid, there just isn't the money to go around. You feel trapped, squeezed, and fears of garnishment of the already perilous income you have are, weighing heavily on your mind let alone your wallet. Feeding your self is a secondary thought to how you'll feed the kids next time they're over and they're already sick of tuna sandwiches.
I am hoping the "System" we are operating under is more understanding that they have been in the past, this year, 2009 and likely into this next decade, will need a high degree of understanding and will humble many. We will be faced with mothers who still want to get paid full-pop, regardless of the father's income, we will have judges who have no risk of hard times, living their opulent lives, and we will have fathers reaching the end of their emotional ropes thinking about things they really need help to avoid. My biggest concern is losing my job, most non-custodial parents will have this fear this year. While there will be Deadbeats taking advantage of this as a reason not to pay, working under the table or whatever they do, there will be a good number of you who will feel so afraid and ashamed that you cannot support your kids and yourself that you will need to find solace in knowing you are not alone and this is not your fault. Never give up, but above all, tell your kids how things are, not to scare them, be honest that times are tough and that money is tight, they will understand and will adjust to tuna sandwiches, just keep loving them.
The expenses of moving to a new 1 bedroom apartment are on top of the fact that you've got a standing support payment that's more than you took home last month. You want to pay, you've been a good customer of the FRO until your job just up and vanished in late 2008, or maybe your plant has laid you off and your $26/hour is not $13/hour at the local BK. Your expenses haven't dropped and for some reason everyone wants what they've always been paid, there just isn't the money to go around. You feel trapped, squeezed, and fears of garnishment of the already perilous income you have are, weighing heavily on your mind let alone your wallet. Feeding your self is a secondary thought to how you'll feed the kids next time they're over and they're already sick of tuna sandwiches.
I am hoping the "System" we are operating under is more understanding that they have been in the past, this year, 2009 and likely into this next decade, will need a high degree of understanding and will humble many. We will be faced with mothers who still want to get paid full-pop, regardless of the father's income, we will have judges who have no risk of hard times, living their opulent lives, and we will have fathers reaching the end of their emotional ropes thinking about things they really need help to avoid. My biggest concern is losing my job, most non-custodial parents will have this fear this year. While there will be Deadbeats taking advantage of this as a reason not to pay, working under the table or whatever they do, there will be a good number of you who will feel so afraid and ashamed that you cannot support your kids and yourself that you will need to find solace in knowing you are not alone and this is not your fault. Never give up, but above all, tell your kids how things are, not to scare them, be honest that times are tough and that money is tight, they will understand and will adjust to tuna sandwiches, just keep loving them.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Am I helping/helpful?
I have come to wonder whether this blog is actually a help to people. The problems found in any and all of the various enforcement systems come down to two things, people having children that they aren't willing to pay support for and people who are parents that need support. The complications come in the post-moment realizations that children are a cost, but are totally worth it.
There are some that walk away from all responsibility, there are some that want to be involved that are shut out. There are seemingly few (but in reality this is the majority) that are payors or payees that are just fine, but the squeaky wheel gets the attention. This by the way is a completely justified squeak!
What we KNOW is that:
- parents should have a 50/50 access arrangement where possible.
- children should NOT be used as pawns or viewed as property
- moving great distances from the child(ren)'s non-custodial partner is not cool
- the current economic climate is going to lead to many people being unable to pay support
- every effort should be made to ensure both parents are involved
- where a parent walks away, the other parent does not need to PUSH the relationship
- where a parent walks away, they should NEVER walk away from support obligations
- Child Support is NOT about the mother and her needs, but the children and theirs*
I have put this effort in to be helpful, help people endure if not resolve the impact of the system. I don't know that I've helped, but I do know we need to be there for our kids. I'm not a fan of women using what people so crassly refer to as winning the baby lottery, but the men in those situations need to teach their kids that these women are a real problem and maybe education will resolve this issue.
Maury Povitch does whatever he does with the same intentions. The risks involved from unprotected sex are not only diseases, but a lifetime commitment to being a parent. I told my daughters one basic truth, "Boys Lie." I have also talke to them about the teenaged Moms we see at the mall and how that changes their life, how dreams and aspirations to be something more than just a drain on society can be lost when you make the choice to be a parent. Everyone makes that choice when they decide to have sex. That is the moment, if you don't want that, don't have sex.
* The judges should really start thinking about this harder.
There are some that walk away from all responsibility, there are some that want to be involved that are shut out. There are seemingly few (but in reality this is the majority) that are payors or payees that are just fine, but the squeaky wheel gets the attention. This by the way is a completely justified squeak!
What we KNOW is that:
- parents should have a 50/50 access arrangement where possible.
- children should NOT be used as pawns or viewed as property
- moving great distances from the child(ren)'s non-custodial partner is not cool
- the current economic climate is going to lead to many people being unable to pay support
- every effort should be made to ensure both parents are involved
- where a parent walks away, the other parent does not need to PUSH the relationship
- where a parent walks away, they should NEVER walk away from support obligations
- Child Support is NOT about the mother and her needs, but the children and theirs*
I have put this effort in to be helpful, help people endure if not resolve the impact of the system. I don't know that I've helped, but I do know we need to be there for our kids. I'm not a fan of women using what people so crassly refer to as winning the baby lottery, but the men in those situations need to teach their kids that these women are a real problem and maybe education will resolve this issue.
Maury Povitch does whatever he does with the same intentions. The risks involved from unprotected sex are not only diseases, but a lifetime commitment to being a parent. I told my daughters one basic truth, "Boys Lie." I have also talke to them about the teenaged Moms we see at the mall and how that changes their life, how dreams and aspirations to be something more than just a drain on society can be lost when you make the choice to be a parent. Everyone makes that choice when they decide to have sex. That is the moment, if you don't want that, don't have sex.
* The judges should really start thinking about this harder.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Courts, the FRO, and the RAW DEAL!
In The Toronto Star: In fact, things might have turned out much differently had Tippett known that family law had undergone some dramatic changes in the time since his separation. Had anyone simply pointed him to familylawcentre.com where he could do the math himself, Tippett might have realized he was at serious risk the minute he stepped into court.
Friday, January 09, 2009
2009 a year of employment woe... but will the judges understand?
The Globe and Mail Reports that Finance Minister, Jim Flaherty, said that Canada is going to have substantial job losses this year. The question becomes, will the judges understand when there's a definate and pressing need to reduct support payments quickly to ensure the payor does not lose his or her house, vehicle, etc. and can ride out this economic storm?
The courts are notorious for laying all of the responsibility on the payor to find new work of equal value when there may be none to be had. Maybe the payor was promoted to a higher pay and has focused skills, maybe the pay-scale has dropped and scrambling to keep a home for his or her kids is (and should be) the first priority. "In the best interest of the child(ren)" should understand that the father can afford accomodation for all of them.
Praying for understanding in 2009.
The courts are notorious for laying all of the responsibility on the payor to find new work of equal value when there may be none to be had. Maybe the payor was promoted to a higher pay and has focused skills, maybe the pay-scale has dropped and scrambling to keep a home for his or her kids is (and should be) the first priority. "In the best interest of the child(ren)" should understand that the father can afford accomodation for all of them.
Praying for understanding in 2009.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Child Support Judgement Questionable... What now?
It turns out that being the biological father is not the foundation of Child Support it is that you have a role as father, provider, or financial crutch. The idea that a judge can make a decision "for the good of the children" and without regard to the mother's responsibility in the matter is troubling.
The Toronto Star covered a story titled "Man must pay support though twins not his" which details the case of a man paying support for children that have been proven to be anoter man's by DNA evidence. The only problem is that DNA doesn't tell us who this might be and the ex-wife is not talking.
The laws are there to protect the children, the women are benefiting (in cases like this) though there are plenty of cases where the FRO and the courts do nothing for women, mothers, children where the support is justified.
The Toronto Star covered a story titled "Man must pay support though twins not his" which details the case of a man paying support for children that have been proven to be anoter man's by DNA evidence. The only problem is that DNA doesn't tell us who this might be and the ex-wife is not talking.
The laws are there to protect the children, the women are benefiting (in cases like this) though there are plenty of cases where the FRO and the courts do nothing for women, mothers, children where the support is justified.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Looking at the Queries...
When people find this blog of the corresponding website using a search engine, they type in the real question (most of the time) and end up a number of places, but here for at least a moment. I wonder sometimes what they expect to hear/see when they see the title.
Here are a few of the queries and my responses:
"ex trying to make me pay child support"
Yes, if you are the father of the child this is expected. Feel free to e-mail me and give me more details, but what you need to work with is payments based upon the guidelines. I am not saying the guidelines are ideal all the time, but you need to plan on paying that much.
"where does FRO payments show on T4"
These days, it doesn't. It's income that's already taxed (payor) and the payee does not need to pay the taxes. If you are the payor... No, you don't get to claim it.
"Im laid off do i have to pay child support ontario"
"being laid off and child support payments in ontario"
Yes, but that doesn't mean you can't get a reduction. The problem is that you need to either have agreement from the payee or go to court (expensive) and ask for a reduction (while maintaining the current support levels). In this economy the judges should be understanding, but they are not always the most "with-it" and may not appreciate the gravity of your situation. You will need to demonstrate that you are doing everything you can to find gainful (full) employment.
"fro arrears repayment"
Hmmm, a tad vague.
"ontario child support if I go on unemployment"
See above.
"correct forms to fill out to stop child support when a child turns 18 in Ontario"
I'll find this, check back soon (here).
"CRA custodial parent clain babysitting child care cost cost taxes"
Yes, you get to claim them. No it's not entirely fair because if the payor is covering his share you should really be sharing the after-tax cost of babysitting... and babysitting better (really) mean child care, not little suzie next door.
"Child Support Stopping Payment Reductions Ontario"
Huh? Please e-mail me or comment with more information.
"when does child support end university"
This, for the most part, depends on your child support agreement. You should be setting expectations that the child pay a [significant] portion of their own costs, use OSAP, etc. That said, if your agreement states you're supposed to you'll need to go to couyrt to justify your inability to cover this cost. I do home your child doesn't want to become a doctor or lawyer!
I hope this helps.
Here are a few of the queries and my responses:
"ex trying to make me pay child support"
Yes, if you are the father of the child this is expected. Feel free to e-mail me and give me more details, but what you need to work with is payments based upon the guidelines. I am not saying the guidelines are ideal all the time, but you need to plan on paying that much.
"where does FRO payments show on T4"
These days, it doesn't. It's income that's already taxed (payor) and the payee does not need to pay the taxes. If you are the payor... No, you don't get to claim it.
"Im laid off do i have to pay child support ontario"
"being laid off and child support payments in ontario"
Yes, but that doesn't mean you can't get a reduction. The problem is that you need to either have agreement from the payee or go to court (expensive) and ask for a reduction (while maintaining the current support levels). In this economy the judges should be understanding, but they are not always the most "with-it" and may not appreciate the gravity of your situation. You will need to demonstrate that you are doing everything you can to find gainful (full) employment.
"fro arrears repayment"
Hmmm, a tad vague.
"ontario child support if I go on unemployment"
See above.
"correct forms to fill out to stop child support when a child turns 18 in Ontario"
I'll find this, check back soon (here).
"CRA custodial parent clain babysitting child care cost cost taxes"
Yes, you get to claim them. No it's not entirely fair because if the payor is covering his share you should really be sharing the after-tax cost of babysitting... and babysitting better (really) mean child care, not little suzie next door.
"Child Support Stopping Payment Reductions Ontario"
Huh? Please e-mail me or comment with more information.
"when does child support end university"
This, for the most part, depends on your child support agreement. You should be setting expectations that the child pay a [significant] portion of their own costs, use OSAP, etc. That said, if your agreement states you're supposed to you'll need to go to couyrt to justify your inability to cover this cost. I do home your child doesn't want to become a doctor or lawyer!
I hope this helps.
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